I’ll begin my first blog with a personal testimony. A year ago this time I faced three devastating losses in my life. I loss my father, mother and went through a divorce within three months. I didn’t know how to handle it. It was too much to think about when I still had to go to work and take care of my kids. My whole family structure as I knew it was gone. I was very close to my mother. We used to talk everyday. My father was the stabilizer in the family. Being separated from my kids (even though it’s only for a few days at a time) is still tough to this day. I went through a ton of emotions. I was angry, upset, frustrated, confusion, sadness and just down right didn’t know what to do at times.
As crushed as I was, I knew I was not broken. I knew that there were those that were rooting for me and cheering me on even though I could not hear them. I knew I had so much to be thankful for in all the loss. In the loss of my parents, I found a new respect for all hey had deposited into my life. Although I missed them and wish they could be here forever, I knew their work hear on the earth was complete. I often find myself saying and doing some of the things my parents did. They are truly missed but their legacy lives on.
I also had to take a different approach when came to my kids. My first objective was to get them all of their primary needs. After that, I made sure that I made my time count with them. It was not always easy or smooth, but the time was education for both the kids and me. It would break my heart to drop the kids off knowing that I would not see them for a number of days. After a few months of this, I valued my time with my kids more than ever. Each moment is precious. The good and not so good times are important as well.
So here’s my advice for anyone starting over in life.
- Get some help. I went to counseling. It was good to get some advice and information from others.
- Don’t get so down on yourself. We all could have, would have and should have done things differently but here we are. The past is in the past. It’s time to look forward and look for the new and exciting things that are to come.
- Stay Busy. Don’t sit around moping and complaining. I will not do anything at all. Staying busy keeps your mind off of the old. Volunteer, join a group or club, workout, get a new hobby, work a second job, etc… Whatever you do, don’t sit still.
- Cut off relationships that are not fruitful. If they don’t add value to you, then they are taking life from you.
- Create the new you. It’s the perfect time to reinvent yourself. Read some new books. Go to some inspirational meetings. Watch some inspiring videos. There’s no better time to reintroduce yourself than when you’re starting over.
Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a new chance to build what you want and how you want it.
Kevin is the owner of Frontline Leadership Training & Development Services. Contact Kevin for Life Coaching or Speaking engagements. Visit www.frontlineleadersusa.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org